8. CROWN AND MITRE Penrith
“We’ve gone on holiday by mistake,” says Withnail in Withnail and I, as the destitute actor and his sidekick, Marwood, fail to get into the swing of things in the Lakeland villages of Shap and Bampton. If you stay at the Crown and Mitre, in Bampton Grange, close to where much of the 1987 classic was filmed, you won’t feel the same. Because instead of spending your time stranded in a draughty stone cottage with a randy uncle, you’ll be holed up in a warming inn with eight rooms and plenty of beer and victuals.
Feel free to recite Withnail’s “I want the finest wines available to humanity …” speech at the bar, they’ve not heard it before. From £70; 01931 713225, crown-and-mitre.co.uk . Special offer: £200 for two nights, including dinner and breakfast, until the end of March.
9. THE GEORGE & DRAGON Clifton, near Penrith
This 18th-century coaching inn is being taken to task by its new managers, who’ve brought in local slate and stone craftsmen to keep a traditional feel to the modernisation. And tradition is something there’s plenty of here, as the George & Dragon belongs to the Lowther family – the largest landowners in the Lake District, and in situ since 1283.
All the food is sourced from their estate, with seasonal game regularly on the specials board. Eight of the 10 new bedrooms will be opening on March 1, but in the meantime there’s plenty of room in the restaurant, where the Duke of Edinburgh was a recent dinner guest. From £85; 01768 865381, georgeanddragonclifton.co.uk
10. WILLOWFORD FARM Gilsland
A 100-acre organic farm sat plumb on Hadrian’s Wall, Willowford gets you about as close to a bit of history as you can imagine. Strictly speaking, it’s just above the Lake District, not far from Carlisle, but who’s counting when the area has one of the longest stretches of the wall still visible, not to mention a Roman fort down the road?
Once you’ve done all that, you can hang out with the cows, lambs, chickens, cats, sheepdog and bees (if you’re brave). Just don’t tell them which room you’ve got – a recent expansion saw the old milking parlour, cart house, pig hole and grain store turned into guest accommodation. Poor loves might get homesick. From £75; 016977 47962, willowford.co.uk
Paul Croughton, Sunday Times, 22/02/09